grison-in-space:

sqbr:

lesbianporg:

sif and valkyrie meet on a lesbian dating app on earth and for the whole date theyre both in disguise as midguardians not realizing that both of them are from asgard 

What I love about this is they’d both be terrible at it but for completely opposite reasons.

Sif would try very hard but she is an earnest Old Worlde Asgardian to her bones and would be every alien/timetraveller-fails-to-fit-in cliche at once. “More of your Earth food, please, fellow human” and so forth.

Valkyrie has spent a few thousand years in a cutthroat multicultural urban environment and could probably adapt and pass as human if she actually tried, but instead she’d do the most token effort imaginable. It’s not like any of these Midguardians would recognise alien tech, and changing clothes is effort, etc.

And both of them would be very pleased at how much easier this all was than they were expecting. “I’m doing great!” they would both think, comparing notes on their favourite kind of spaceship (midguardians have spaceships, right?) and having an arm wrestling context where they use 1/10th of their strength, eg enough to break the arm of any actual human.

And then eventually Sif would be overcome with guilt and tearfully explain her Terrible Lie and Valkyrie would go YOU MEAN I PUT ALL THIS EFFORT IN FOR NOTHING and then Sif would die of fangirling because Valkyrie.

And then they’d make out, the end.

um um um SOMEONE WRITE THIS STORY OH MY GOD amazing

defenestratocaster:

theavengers:

I thought the
Valkyrie all died gruesome deaths?

#I like to think it was taika who took tom hiddleston aside and said “look I like what you’re doing here it’s good stuff but uh….”#“I want you to play it like you’ve just gotten the world’s most inconvenient boner and you are both terrified and aroused at the idea#that she might notice. do you think you can do that?”#and tom hiddleston#who has low-key been into the idea of loki as the most demanding sub ever#sucks on his teeth and grudging admits “ah. I could probably…? I mean since you asked#he is trying very hard not to punch the air.#and the result is this scene. so. good I’m glad we all agree (via)

haiku-robot:

frog-facts:

slippedrib:

thegestianpoet:

stream:

Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

the strapon metaphor was neither missed nor unappreciated

“strapon” you’re all weak this is a metaphor for valkyrie’s huge dick

“strapon” you’re all weak
this is a metaphor for
valkyrie’s huge dick


^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.

Some of you will be my pet if you survive the initial human extermination. PayPal | Patreon