The true lesson of Homestuck is that if you want your alien OCs to become popular, provide one (1) suggestively bizarre detail about their reproductive biology and adamantly refuse to elaborate.
and the lord of the rings. tolkien invented whole languages and cultures and mythologies and histories, and the staggering enormity of the worldbuilding tolkein accomplished is only ever hinted at in the actual corpus of the lord of the rings, but he never wrote down the elf words for cock and balls
Amusingly, that’s only half right. While Tolkien never wrote down the elvish words for “testicles”, he did come up with elvish words for “penis”. The terms appear only in his early lexicons and are not repeated later, so they’re not guaranteed to be compatible with the versions of elvish that actually made it into the books, but the words do exist.
This actually brings up an interesting point. Humans only have testicles because our body temperature is too hot to allow sperm to live inside the body. So if elves have a lower body temperature, which it is slightly suggested as they don’t feel the cold the way men do, it’s entirely possible that elves, in fact, do not have testicles, cause they don’t need them.
karkat: JUST SO YOU KNOW, I AM KIND OF A ROMANCE EXPERT. I HAVE SEEN EVERY TROLL ROMCOM IN EXISTENCE, MOST OF THE MORE PRIMITIVE (BUT STILL INFORMATIVE) HUMAN ROMANCE FLICKS, AND EVEN READ A FEW OBSCURE CHERUB SMUT NOVELS. THIS IS NOT SOMETHING TO BE TAKEN LIGHTLY. I AM THE ROMANCE GUY ON THIS METEOR DO YOU UNDERSTAND.
dave: *holds his hand*
karkat: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OHG MYGO D OHMY GOD OH KY GOD HOLY DHIT
objectively, yesterdays jumbotron was fucking legendary, and this is literally the pettiest of peeves, but I still can’t fucking believe this fandom thinks Taako ‘would burn the world down for the people he cares for’ Taaco would stan Vriska ‘risks all her friend’s lives just so she can be the one who beats the big bad’ Serket, especially when Dave is right there, being a sarcastic attention whore who hates dying but still crashed his twin sisters suicide mission ‘cause like fuck she’s dying without him.
look it’s a well known matter of fact that each and every single boy in homestuck is a weenie baby when it comes down to it
open your eyes people! they’re all weenies! your fave could never and i know it hurts but you just need to accept and understand that they absolutely have not and never will match even a fourth of the tenacity literally any other homestuck girl has in their right pinkies alone
“Not even Dirk?” is what I’d ask if I didn’t know better.
dirk “im going to dissipate into a cloud of pixels due to my sheer manpain” strider is one of the biggest weenies of them all
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