The Kingii is an emergency life preserver that you can strap right to your wrist that inflates in seconds and brings you straight to the surface of the water.
http://odditymall.com/kingii-wristband-emergency-flotation-device
WOAH NO WAIT WHAT I AM A LIFEGUARD DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MORE LIVES THIS SHIT CAN POTENTIALLY SAVE???!!!
As someone who likes doing water-related things like fishing but intensely fears drowning, I’m gonna need like three hundred of these, okay.
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Trying to communicate with my future morning self is like setting an elaborate trap for an unsuspecting zombie like
if I put my phone alarm on full volume and vibrate and move the charger so I can put it on this out-of-reach metal surface, I can startle her awake. Probably. Then if I securely duct tape this caffeinated chocolate bar to it, it will provide a challenging situation and make her mushy little brain work extra hard to figure out how to turn the alarm off. Then she might go for the chocolate while she’s turning off the loud noises. With luck, she’ll consume the whole thing. 20 minutes of bliss then boom, physiology kicks in and the caffeine reaches her brain. Gentlemen, this just might work.
It didn’t work.
A tragedy in two acts
Snippet from my garbage bag test, also currently known as the mer-leech!
Longer, more detailed video is on my Patreon!
not gonna lie, if I saw this in the pool I would scream at a frequency high enough to smash glass
Britain’s smallest bird, the Goldcrest, weighs the same as a teaspoonful of sugar.
If everyone else flying around you was the size of a Cadillac Escalade, you’d be pissed, too.
Deep Breath. Inhale. Exhale.
Credit: by Rody.Tino.Tomoko
we all thought it would be Caduceus who’d take one look at the 4 firbolg enchanters and have a full blown gay awakening but in truth it was Pumat “you brighten the room” Sol who saw our very own pink-haired vision of pastel aesthetic beauty and felt his heart explode
Caduceus Clay has his gay awakening the second he was born and you can’t change my mind
caduceus had to be awakened to that fact that some people are straight
shout out to polyamorous and promiscous bisexuals for punching respectability politics in the dick and living the life that makes you happy
Other players DMing
atleastthisusernamewasnttaken:
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on the ipre’s plane, macarons and macaroons are switched
hear me out—
angus is confused when taako begins teaching him how to make “macaroons” because he thought that macaroons had coconut in them. taako rolls his eyes and explains that no, angus is thinking of macarons, a type of biscuit. angus doesn’t question it, because taako is the chef and taako knows best.
but he starts talking with the other bureau members and yes, all of them agree that macaroons are the coconut biscuits, and macarons are the cookie. when he confronts taako again he is told that every bureau member is wrong.
it becomes a conspiracy, akin to the mandela effect. most people on the moon base agree with angus, but taako insists that they don’t know what they’re talking about, and magnus, merle, and oddly enough, the director, all take his side.
one day angus pulls taako into some bakery and points at the labels on the cookies, looking smug. but taako doesn’t budge, saying simply that not every baker is well educated. taako then produces an old cook book published decades prior, that he’s had since he was a child. and sure enough, there is a recipe for “macaroons” that details the process of baking the merengue cookies, complete with illustrations.
angus’s wall is covered with pushpins and string connecting pictures of pastries, dictionary definitions, lists of cook book authors, and taako’s face with a bunch of question marks drawn over it.
backup blog in case tumblr explodes 