Right now, I’m sifting through 50+ applications for a new entry-level position. Here’s some advice from the person who will actually be looking at your CV/resume and cover letter:
‘You must include a cover letter’ does not mean ‘write a single line about why you want this position’. If you can’t be bothered to write at least one actual paragraphs about why you want this job, I can’t be bothered to read your CV.
Don’t bother including a list of your interests if all you can think of is ‘socialising with friends’ and ‘listening to music’. Everyone likes those things. Unless you can explain why the stuff you do enriches you as a person and a candidate (e.g. playing an instrument or a sport shows dedication and discipline) then I honestly don’t care how you spend your time. I won’t be looking at your CV thinking ‘huh, they haven’t included their interests, they must have none’, I’m just looking for what you have included.
Even if you apply online, I can see the filename you used for your CV. Filenames that don’t include YOUR name are annoying. Filenames like ‘CV – media’ tell me that you’ve got several CVs you send off depending on the kind of job advertised and that you probably didn’t tailor it for this position. ‘[Full name] CV’ is best.
USE. A. PDF. All the meta information, including how long you worked on it, when you created it, times, etc, is right there in a Word doc. PDFs are far more professional looking and clean and mean that I can’t make any (unconscious or not) decisions about you based on information about the file.
I don’t care what the duties in your previous unrelated jobs were unless you can tell me why they’re useful to this job. If you worked in a shop, and you’re applying for an office job which involves talking to lots of people, don’t give me a list of stuff you did, write a sentence about how much you enjoyed working in a team to help everyone you interacted with and did your best to make them leave the shop with a smile. I want to know what makes you happy in a job, because I want you to be happy within the job I’m advertising.
Does the application pack say who you’ll be reporting to? Can you find their name on the company website? Address your application to them. It’s super easy and shows that you give enough of a shit to google something. 95% of people don’t do this.
Tell me who you are. Tell me what makes you want to get up in the morning and go to work and feel fulfilled. Tell me what you’re looking for, not just what you think I’m looking for.
I will skim your CV. If you have a bunch of bullet points, make every one of them count. Make the first one the best one. If it’s not interesting to you, it’s probably not interesting to me. I’m overworked and tired. Make my job easy.
“I work well in a team or individually” okay cool, you and everyone else. If the job means you’ll be part of a big team, talk about how much you love teamwork and how collaborating with people is the best way to solve problems. If the job requires lots of independence, talk about how you are great at taking direction and running with it, and how you have the confidence to follow your own ideas and seek out the insight of others when necessary. I am profoundly uninterested in cookie-cutter statements. I want to know how you actually work, not how a teacher once told you you should work.
For an entry-level role, tell me how you’re looking forward to growing and developing and learning as much as you can. I will hire genuine enthusiasm and drive over cherry-picked skills any day. You can teach someone to use Excel, but you can’t teach someone to give a shit. It makes a real difference.
This is my advice for small, independent orgs like charities, etc. We usually don’t go through agencies, and the person reading through the applications is usually the person who will manage you, so it helps if you can give them a real sense of who you are and how you’ll grab hold of that entry level position and give it all you’ve got. This stuff might not apply to big companies with actual HR departments – it’s up to you to figure out the culture and what they’re looking for and mirror it. Do they use buzzwords? Use the same buzzwords! Do they write in a friendly, informal way? Do the same! And remember, 95% of job hunting (beyond who you know and flat-out nepotism, ugh) is luck. If you keep getting rejected, it’s not because you suck. You might just need a different approach, or it might just take the right pair of eyes landing on your CV.
And if you get rejected, it’s worthwhile asking why. You’ve already been rejected, the worst has already happened, there’s really nothing bad that can come out of you asking them for some constructive feedback (politely, informally, “if it isn’t too much trouble”). Pretty much all of us have been hopeless jobseekers at one point or another. We know it’s shitty and hard and soul-crushing. Friendliness goes a long way. Even if it’s just one line like “your cover letter wasn’t inspiring" at least you know where to start.
And seriously, if you have any friends that do any kind of hiring or have any involvement with that side of things, ask them to look at your CV with a big red pen and brutal honesty. I do this all the time, and the most important thing I do is making it so their CV doesn’t read exactly like that of every other person who took the same ‘how-to-get-a-job’ class in school. If your CV has a paragraph that starts with something like ‘I am a highly motivated and punctual individual who–’ then oh my god I AM ALREADY ASLEEP.
Very good post thanks for this.
Excellent advice for building and submitting job application documents.
Elderly woman in the drive thru that insisted her meal should be free because the total cost was the same as her birth year.
Obligatory group of shirtless frat boys.
Guy who pulled me aside and demanded to know if we wash our floors with grease because the (freshly mopped) bathroom floor was slippery.
Soccer mom that intentionally poured a large strawberry milkshake onto her son’s head as punishment. She asked for a new one.
Kid that stood on a table and sung Let It Go uninterrupted from start to finish. She received a standing ovation from everyone in the restaurant.
Teenage girl that paid for a to-go order, about $45 total, entirely in singles.
College-age girl that asked if it was true that we were handing out free sandwiches to gays and, if so, if she could have one. I told her we weren’t doing that promotion at our location, but I’d buy her a sandwich if she gave me her number. She politely declined.
Prank caller asking if we wanted to buy weed. The manager replied by saying we had a guy that sold to us for 10$/quarter and to call back when he could match that
Multiple instances of kids pooping in the playplace.
Another prank caller asking if we sold burgers. The manager (a different one) told them there was a Five Guys across the street, so why on earth bother looking for a burger here anyway?
That time Arthur Darville came in.
Drive thru guest who regularly asks, very specifically, for “coke zero, NOT diet coke with extra ice’
A basketball team from a local high school got banned for using their trays to slide down the slide.
This happened to be the same night that the staff all stayed an extra 20 minutes after the doors were locked and took turns using a tray to slide down the slide.
Guy with a southern accent that addressed me as “you with the tits,” shoved his sweet tea under my nose for a refill and then, upon noticing my murderous expression, said, “Service with a smile, darlin’,” winked, and walked out.
Woman who told me in a watery voice, upon observing my name tag, that her recently deceased daughter’s name was Emily too. She comes back and chats with me occasionally.
My coworker, Tyquan once finished his conversation with the guests by saying “Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease!” It is now a meme and basically all of our customers know him.
That time I was explaining to one of the girls what Rocky Horror Picture Show was and this elderly couple leaned across the counter with wide eyes and exclaimed “You’ve never heard of Rocky Horror!?” And proceeded to yell their favorite audience participation lines.
Guy who’s on the security staff of a local college frequently comes through the drive thru on his segway. We are all on a first name basis with him.
A skinny fuckboy who consistently, for over two years, has always come in wearing a trilby, carrying a copy of hamlet, and ordering “Coca-Cola” instead of coke.
Some redneck-type guy with no front teeth that asked me if almost everybody on the staff is “saved” (they are.) He then asked me how old I was and if I was a nice Christian gal (I’m not).
Guy who geek-checked me for my Keyblade necklace. He didn’t play the spinoffs.
I went into the low fridge one day and the stack of juice boxes had toppled over, basically burying everything else. I asked the manager what happened, and he looked at me dead in the face and said “it was an appleanche.”
Stoners calling to ask if we delivered.
Guy who said, in a deadass tone: “If you guys call it Chick-Fil-A because the staff is all chicks why don’t y’all wear more revealing shirts?” And I honestly didn’t even know what to do because a) our staff is not all women and b) Sir do you realize that this is a heavily Christian establishment I mean christ.
Unknown guest who left me several napkins with pictures drawn on them, labelled “tip.” To date it is the third tip I’ve ever gotten and by far the best.
That time we traded four large strip trays for eight cases of White Castle.
Woman in the drive thru that demanded to speak with the owner because we told her that she could not get six large cups of ice for free and would have to pay for a bag of ice instead.
Guy in a full replica batman cosplay. He came in, walked around, took some pictures with people, and left.
There was a baby boomer that screamed literally right in my face because his nuggets were cold. I had shit to do though and his breath with nasty so after six whole minutes of this (I timed it) I burst into tears and told him it was just my first day. Later the manager told me that she saw the whole thing and that she almost peed herself from laughing so hard and that I wasn’t allowed to do that anymore.
And finally…
Prank caller asking if we could do a birthday party for 52 lesbians.
karkat: JUST SO YOU KNOW, I AM KIND OF A ROMANCE EXPERT. I HAVE SEEN EVERY TROLL ROMCOM IN EXISTENCE, MOST OF THE MORE PRIMITIVE (BUT STILL INFORMATIVE) HUMAN ROMANCE FLICKS, AND EVEN READ A FEW OBSCURE CHERUB SMUT NOVELS. THIS IS NOT SOMETHING TO BE TAKEN LIGHTLY. I AM THE ROMANCE GUY ON THIS METEOR DO YOU UNDERSTAND.
dave: *holds his hand*
karkat: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OHG MYGO D OHMY GOD OH KY GOD HOLY DHIT
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