burningsobright:

thatdiabolicalfeminist:

it goes the other way too – you can empathize with or hear
out someone’s feelings or thoughts or wishes or intentions, but if you
want to understand what kind of person they are, it’s also important to
pay attention to what they actually do.

e.g. if someone says
they love you, says they respect you, etc etc but they routinely treat you in
unloving ways and with disrespect – you can decide whether you
think they WANT to treat you lovingly & respectfully, but you cannot
let their words excuse how they are actually choosing to act. what they believe
about how they treat you is less important than the material reality of how they
DO treat you.

on a larger scale, oppression is carried out
via concrete actions. regardless of how people think or feel
or excuse or minimize their actions, some actions perpetuate oppression and some
attack it; identify these actions and the material change (or lack thereof) they effect. don’t assume that a stated intent means they will actually effect change in accordance with that intent.

and if
someone’s actions seem at odds with the person they seem to think they
are, or want to be – bring this to their attention. and see what they choose to do
about it.

the world is built of actions, not intentions

“
and if
someone’s actions seem at odds with the person they seem to think they
are, or want to be – bring this to their attention. and see what they choose to do
about it.

“