Which Doctor Should You Fight?

dedicatedfollower467:

so bearing in mind i have VERY little experience with classic who, i’m gonna do a which doctor should you fight meme because I don’t think I’ve seen one yet and I wanted to make one.

One – don’t fight One. Don’t let his old age deceive you – the First Doctor is probably the most crotchety and also technically the youngest. He is raring to go. He’s the asshole teenager hanging around on street corners waiting for someone to look at him wrong so he can deck them in the face. Don’t fight One.

Two – First of all, Two will dance around you in circles. You have no chance of beating Two. Second of all, why do you want to fight Two? Two is funny and ridiculous and just trying to do some good in the universe. Don’t fight Two.

Three – Fight Three. You’ll lose, but it will give him something exciting to do while he’s trapped on Earth. Just try not to make the Master jealous.

Four – Fighting Four is a Bad Idea. The man is an unpredictable genius. The only way you even have a chance of beating him is if you try to use his overconfidence against him but listen; there is a REASON that Four was the longest-running Doctor and you do NOT want to trifle with him.

Five – I mean you could probably take him, but why? Five is just a dude being a guy taking care of his wayward orphan children and wrestling with morality. He is in over his head. Also look me in the eye and tell me you could ACTUALLY hurt that baby face.

Six – DO. NOT. FIGHT. SIX. This is a man who nearly strangled one of his own companions and shows very little compunction about using lethal force on his enemies. You will DIE if you try to fight Six. 

Seven – See, you can try to fight Seven all you want but it’s just. Not gonna happen. He won’t let you fight him. You’ll get within a few feet of him and then next thing you know you’re either sitting down to tea with him or you’re waking up a century later with no memory of what just happened. It’s a fool’s errand.

Eight – depends. If you get him early enough in his time stream you could probably take him, but do you really want to? The poor guy has it rough. He doesn’t even remember who he is. Leave Eight alone.

War Doctor – just. don’t. This is the man who was 100% willing to murder everyone in his own civilization to stop a war. You will lose horrifically, and it won’t even be an honorable loss.

Nine – ABORT. MISSION. DO NOT FIGHT NINE. This is actually a worse plan than fighting Six. Nine is a man with nothing to lose and a vicious streak a mile wide. Fighting Nine is the last mistake you will ever make. Plus, he’s like, the saddest incarnation of the Doctor ever. Let him be happy. Don’t fight Nine.

Ten – Technically you could probably take Ten in a physical fight, but like with Seven, there’s a good chance you just wouldn’t ever get to a fight. Plus, even if you DID beat him, the fight wouldn’t really be over. He’d just get up again. Good luck getting Ten to stay down. But I mean if you wanna try, you’re welcome to.

Eleven – PLEASE FIGHT ELEVEN. You’ll lose, you’ll lose spectacularly, but if there was ever an incarnation of the Doctor that needed to get punched in the face it’s Eleven. It’ll be sort of like punching Steven Moffat by proxy. Fight Eleven.

Twelve – fight Twelve. Again, you’ll lose, he’s the angriest most badass scottish granddad in the universe, but he’ll somehow turn it into a guitar competition and he’ll have fun and you’ll have fun and all around a great time will be had by all. Fight Twelve.