Neil: When foxes change their appearance for winter it’s ‘beautiful’ and ‘a product of adaptation’ but when i change my appearance it’s ‘unnecessary’ and ‘something we need to report to the fbi’.
Neil in book one: *panicking* I can’t ever let the press even see me I can’t talk to any reporter or speak to anyone they will find me and kill me no no no oh my god
Neil in book three: *grabbing the microphone back after talking shit on live television for 20 minutes* AND YOU KNOW WHAT? ONE MORE THING I THINK COACH MORIYAMA SHOULD SHOVE AN EXY RACKET RIGHT UP HI-
So I re-read The Foxhole Court last night/this morning and like… I can’t stop thinking about how Matt is just… immediately in Neil’s corner. Like. It’s not like they bond over some shared interest or experience, it’s not like Matt walks in and Neil is being actively harassed by Andrew’s crew, triggering his protective instincts. He just…
Neil: exists, is smol, dresses like a hobo, whole life fits in a duffel bag
Matt:
I just realized that Renee means “reborn” in french and I just screamed
neil paints his nails because fuck gender roles and when nicky sees for the first time he just starts laughing uncontrolably like doubled-over-can’t-breathe laughing and neil is 103% ready to fuck him up if he says something rude about it but the only thing that comes out of his mouth when he has enough air to breathe again after a solid few minutes is “neil polish”
i keep referring to neil and kevin as childhood friends when the technical reality is that they are childhood acquaintances who instead of getting orange slices and juice after their sports practice got to watch neil’s dad brutally kill a man
i just. i need “stickball” to become so much of an inside joke for the foxes that it’s not even an inside joke anymore. like, someone started it to piss of kevin (and neil), but everyone caught on to it? and years down the line kevin gives literal zero fucks about it anymore, but they. still. do. it. and not even as a joke, just as an automatism. nicky has slipped up and called exy stickball in multiple interviews. (after graduating psu and becoming a doctor or whatever aaron refers to his psu time as “my stickball days”) the baby foxes don’t really catch on but no one has heard any of the original line-up say the word exy in ages. one night, in the monsters’ fifth year probably, neil sits up in the middle of the night with a horrified look on his face. andrew asks him the fuck he’s about. “exy,” neil whispers. andrew is probably about to smack either neil or himself because what did he expect. “it’s called exy.” neil continues. “i – i know we’ve been joking about stickball for ages but … i genuinely forgot … i – i’ve been playing this sport for over ten years… and i just… it’s exy.”
kevin and neil headcanons because i dont see nearly enough for them
☆neil: what is ‘dabbing’ kevin: absolutely not
☆kevin has to chop vegetables into tiny pieces and sneak them into neils dinners because his eating habits are shit
☆they go grocery shopping together and neil keeps putting junk food in the cart and kevin keeps shoving it back onto random shelves with varying levels of rage
☆neil: do i even weigh anything to you? kevin, holding him a foot off the ground: no. its like holding a bag of grapes
☆whack each other w their exy racquets when they get too Extra during practice
☆scary movie ride or die fans
☆kevin curls up and watches through his fingers and neil punches kevins leg when a jumpscare gets him
☆kevin: *mentions anyone who has even slightly inconvenienced him* neil: you should kill them
☆kevin can always sense neils bullshit and he will, inevitably and invariably, be able to tell when neil is doing Something Stupid
☆neil photobombs kevins interviews at/after games ALL THE TIME
☆kevin: it was a tough game but our hard work paid off
☆neil: in the background wearing 3 pairs of sunglasses and dumping an entire gatorade over his head while maintaining eye contact with the camera
☆neil can suplex kevin
☆they are savage at dragging like god help whoever brings down their Roasting Session upon themselves bc they will taste the wrath of a god
☆neil makes a game of how many outlandish claims he can make and still have kevin believe him
☆neil: did you know i once spent a week in australia and had to eat nothing but jellyfish and twinkies to survive
☆kevin, wide eyed and scandalized: how are you alive
☆neil WILL pick a fight in a fast food restaurant and kevin has to bail him out
☆kevin listens to 80s pop music when he works out and neil finds out. neil Finds Out.
☆neil plays 21 loops of tom jones’ ‘whats new pussycat’ and kevin tells him to put in 1 ‘its not unusual’
☆kevin will send neil a million texts until he gets a response. like in a row, in the span of 15 seconds buzz buzz bitch where are you
☆neil watches chopped and kevin loses his mind because neil will drag a contestant for mixing caviar with peppers while at the same time eating like mac n cheese with nutella
☆they get too into laser tag and get kicked out
“who said the word please that made you hate it so much?” “i did.” is one of the most haunting lines of literature and i don’t think i’ll ever recover from it
backup blog in case tumblr explodes 