please make sure that wherever you’re at in life, you don’t treat it like a transitory period. don’t waste your college years wishing to already be graduated & have a job. don’t waste your single years wishing for someone to be in love with. if/when those things come, they will come in due time and they will be good. but there is nothing like looking back and feeling empty because you wasted literal years ignoring what you had because you were hoping for something better. while it’s important to better yourself and reach for your goals, don’t neglect the present because that’s where you are now and it’s your now that determines your future.
There’s certainly a double standard because no one would talk about it if it were a woman, and I would say… Why? Because are women expected to do it and men aren’t? And why aren’t men expected to do it, and why haven’t men done it before? Does it show vulnerability? Does it exhibit this vestigial, kind of puritanical shame over the human body and human intimacy? Yet violence and self-flagellation, self-hurt, hurting one another, we can do, because that’s what we’ve been taught culturally is okay? I don’t know, but it certainly seems to be an odd thing.
Half of being trans is being hypervigilant against transphobes. Like, I spent 15 minutes scrolling down on a blog that I would be super interested in just to make sure that it wasn’t going to start reblogging stuff from my favorite transmisogynists. Turns out that my hypervigilance was right again.
Things to look for:
References to “vagina envy.” This is what initially got me scrolling. This alone isn’t a sure indicator.
Andrea Dworkin quotes without criticism
Reblogging from troll accounts like confirmed-/-terf
Most cis wlw on Tumblr are, in fact, supportive of trans people. Most cis wlw who mention “hating men” are not using this as an attack on trans women. However, because of my experience with the small, insular, and vitriolic trans-exclusionary feminists on Tumblr, I have learned to be hypervigilant and it Really Fucking Sucks and Really Fucking Hurts when I am right.
I am a lesbian. This kind of blog would have been My Shit. But I’ve been taught to distrust the very women I connect with the most. I’ve been taught to feel afraid in my own home.
Being a transgender lesbian is constantly walking on eggshells to not prove them right. And their standards are ever changing so it’s inevitable that you’ll prove them right. Righteous anger will be taken as “male propensity towards violence,” which closely mirrors the way men see outspoken women as “shrill.” If we do anything to fight back outside of debate within their terms, we are immediately casted as “violent men.” They will not be satisfied until we shut up, lie down, and die.
Cis wlw can and should reblog this. Help me remember my allies.
backup blog in case tumblr explodes 