“While many people think fanfiction is about inserting sex into texts (like Tolkien’s) where it doesn’t belong, Brancher sees it differently: “I was desperate to read about sex that included great friendship; I was repurposing Tolkien’s text in order to do that. It wasn’t that friendship needed to be sexualized, it was that erotica needed to be … friendship-ized.” Many fanfiction writers write about sex in conjunction with beloved texts and characters not because they think those texts are incomplete, but because they’re looking for stories where sex is profound and meaningful. This is part of what makes fan fiction different from pornography: unlike pornography, fanfic features characters we already care deeply about, and who tend to already have long-standing and complex relationships with each other. It’s a genre of sexual subjectification: the very opposite of objectification. It’s benefits with friendship.”
i know the “ok tumblr children please here are the rules to twitter and please behave” posts are so patronizing and dumb but some of you NEED to know that your likes are public
I hate linguistic anthropology. Why? One of the most influential experiments in linguistic anthropology involved teaching a chimp asl. One of the most influential linguistics is named Noam Chomsky. You know what the chimp’s name was?
Nim Chimpsky.
Fucking monkey pun.
And this is in textbooks, in documentaries, everywhere. And everyone just IGNORES THIS GOD AWFUL PUN cause of how important the experiment was. But
BUT LOOK AT THIS SHIT. FUCKING NIM CHIMPSKY. I HATE THIS WHOLE FIELD.
Its not just the linguistic anthropologists.
There’s a group of very important genes that determine if your body develops in the right shape/organization… they are called the hedgehog genes, because fruit fly geneticists are all ridiculous. The different hedgehog genes are all named after different hedgehogs. And then someone decided to get clever and name one “sonic hedgehog” because this is just what fruitfly geneticists do.
Well sonic hedgehog controls brain development, and now actual doctors are stuck in the position of explaining to grieving parents that their child’s lethal birth defects or life-threatening tumors are caused by a “sonic hedgehog mutation”.
And this is why no one will invite the fruit fly people to parties.
Biogeochemical scientists, upon discovering the complex mechanisms that govern the storage and use of molecular iron on our planet, decided to call this cycle “the ferrous wheel”. We groaned about that for at least five solid minutes.
The phenomenon of sneezing when exposed to sudden bright light is called an Autosomal-dominant Compelling Helio Opthalmic Outburst. ACHOO.
No porn on tumblr we describe our nudes in detail instead
today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.
aarakocra » snowcapped mountains, finding shapes in clouds, fashion conscious, meditation, wanting to see the world, good singing voice, family pictures, expensive jewelry, easily irritated, asking too many questions, molted feathers, flowing clothing, talking with hands
aasimar » prep school, questioning people’s intentions, champagne flutes, dream journals, shiny hair, passionate speeches, sunrises, always following rules, heeled boots, family heirlooms, sitting by the fireplace in winter, rose gold, never changes their mind, teacher’s pet
centaur » leather belts, wine tipsy, mediator, sitting around the campfire, silent treatment, hair in your face from the wind, family reunions, morning jogs, group texts, roasted nuts, never admitting they were wrong, old soul, lazy handwriting, rising with the sun
dragonborn » all or nothing, gold leafing, mesmerized by flames, rib bones, keeping your chin up, misty mornings, pocket full of spare change, painted faces, amulets, hot temper, banners in the wind, biting their tongue, horoscopes, autumn leaves, never letting them see you cry
dwarf » working with their hands, tapestries, messy hair, standing up for what’s right, brands in leather, gemstone jewelry, saving for a rainy day, mulled cider, dirt beneath fingernails, belly laughs, pine trees, pros and cons lists, not shaving, muddy boots by the door, oak furniture
elf » never responding to texts, cat naps, ballet shoes, sunlight on water, practicing until their fingers bleed, braided ponytails, quail eggs, tunnel vision, grass between toes, high expectations, photographic memory, starting an etsy store, bells on ribbons, cursive handwriting
fey » indie music, leather jackets, pranks, flirting to get their way, dragonfly wings, bath bombs, social chameleon, cutting corners, birds on telephone wires, karma, playing devil’s advocate, lipstick kisses, gumdrops, changing moods, pressed flowers, tattoo art, bright clothing
genasi » mood swings, head in the clouds, confident laughter, wild child, shelf of trophies, beat of their own drum, drive thrus, crazy schemes, finger guns, wife beaters, collectables, comebacks, sunglasses on indoors, slogans, bragging rights, cult classic movies, large headphones
giantkin » back of the classroom, gangly limbs, pulling petals from flowers, turtlenecks, feeling like they don’t belong, perfect grammar in texts, sentimental jewelry, loose buttons, skipping stones, saving love letters, passive aggression, bright eyes, staying in pajamas
goblin » never without their friends, unconventional interests, loud voice, abandoned spaces, chewing nails, gullible comfortable clothing, being afraid to admit mistakes, creative insults, ride or die, untied shoes, ghost hunting, slow to anger but explodes, bruised knuckles
goliath » taking everything as a challenge, team sports, broken bones, competitions, tarnished metal, more sensitive than they seem, younger siblings, going to bed at 8:30, awkward silences, choking on pride, tight hugs, cobblestone pathways, biting off more than they can chew
halfling » card tricks, adventures, cheerleader friend, summer afternoons, following their heart, good luck charms, bursting into song, superstitions, finding the silver linings, keys and locks, day drinking, antique shopping, pretending they know the answer, good vibes only
human » jack of all trades, getting up when they fall, friendship bracelets, history nerd, believing in magic, natural leader, the sound of the city, band-aids on fingers, adventure stories, trying new restaurants, long daydreams, kiss and tell, sarcasm, the feeling of coming home
jackalwere » witty comebacks, chokers, work smarter not harder, feet up on the table, fair weather friend, back of movie theaters, honeyed words, taking challenges, pity parties, neon lights, trying anything once, studded necklaces, dog person, masquerade masks, black nails
kenku » has a vine reference for everything, caving to impulses, taking things apart, talking in circles, snack food, doesn’t read directions, all play and not work, snoozing their alarm, always reorganizing, surprise presents, board games, can’t drive, jumping from one topic to another
merfolk » watercolor paintings, collecting seashells, long nails, lips tasting like salt, the unknown, pounding heart, lace chokers, deep thoughts, wandering soul, sea foam in the wind, dancing alone, sunshowers, collection of lotions, fresh fruit, living one day at a time, strings of pearls
orc » shaving cuts, dropping anything for their friends, unable to sit still, drawing art and showing no one, beef jerky, brass instruments, stubborn as an ox, double knots, thinking too little of yourself, messy bedroom, tangled earbuds, able to nap anywhere, moving fast in relationships
tabaxi » reading wikipedia for fun, bedhead, short attention span, sleeping it off, bite marks, not finishing anything, logic puzzles, curling up with a blanket, sticker collection (but never using them), wallflower, library dates, clean bedsheets, only putting effort into their hobbies
tiefling » tarot cards, candles in the dark, never accepting help, replaced emotions with bad puns, pocket knives, bottling up feelings, long sidewalks, lilies, old books, gender? never heard of her, skull jewelry, ravens at dusk, traditional art, sleeping under a ton of blankets
tortle » restless soul, cozy apartments, potted succulents, handknit socks, packing a picnic lunch, thick skin, sunlight through curtains, collecting coffee mugs, subtle smiles, biting back laughter, watching the rain fall, lazy mornings, supportive texts, peeled oranges, finding a home
yuan-ti » chess pieces, choosing their words carefully, perfect posture, collection of pens, marble statues, formal clothing, paranormal skeptic, taking everything personally, ticking clocks, the taste of iron, eloquent words, leather-bound journals, reading the same book again
backup blog in case tumblr explodes 