fuckingrecipes:

fuckingrecipes:

A shower orange is a glorious experience that you should perform at least once in your life.

Step 1: Get an orange. Room temperature is fine, but refrigerated makes the contrast even better. 

Step 2: Put on a hot shower. 

Step 3: Take the whole orange into the shower – yes, while naked. Treat it like an otherwise normal shower. 

Step 4: Use your teeth and fingernails to rip open the orange and take huge messy bites out of it. Drop the peels by the drain, and your shower will be full of citrus oil smells. You can pick them out later. Devour the orange. Revel in it. 

Step 5: Finish your shower and clean up the leftover bits of peel and seeds. If you thought ahead, you could also have a trash can set up outside the shower for the peel and such, but I dont think it’s necessary. 

I want to clear some confusion and state that I am 100% serious in this post, including the order of the steps. 

Zero shitpost. 

Completely deadpan serious. 

black-cherry28:

My mind is like an internet browser. 17 tabs are open, 4 of them are frozen and I don’t know where the music is coming from.

derinthemadscientist:

johnnyfourballs:

rrozeselavy:

rich ppl are like so easily convinced abt ghosts I remember growing up it was near this vacant lot and whenever I broke a toy instead of going to face the wrath of my mother I would fucking bury it in that lot and then sure enough, some dude tried to develop the land and found a ton of buried rotten dolls and shit and told everyone it was haunted

it’s been over a decade and that lot is still vacant 

You single handedly tanked the value of someone’s prime real estate and that makes me happy

As soon as I read this I immediately started thinking of ways to do this on purpose to get cheap land and I was five posts down my dash before I realised I was becoming Scooby Doo villain

hawkehell:

there are 3 possible outcomes for if you ask your artist friend to draw something for u and they say yes:

1. they draw it in 2 hours
2. they draw it in 6 months and apologize endlessly
3. they never draw it and spend the next 5 years bathing in guilt 

thorsbian:

Here’s a fun idea: just stop comparing every piece of lgbt media. Love, Simon was never going to live up to Moonlight. Carol isn’t supposed to be as thrilling as The Handmaiden. Gay people deserve a variety of content lmao this whole “lets compare every gay movie to Brokeback Mountain” is boring as hell. Straight people dont compare She’s All That to Shawshank Redemption. Not every gay movie has to be worth a fucking oscar

thejusticethatissocial:

“History was full of the bones of good men who’d followed bad orders in the hope that they could soften the blow. Oh, yes, there were worse things they could do, but most of them began right where they started following bad orders.”

— Terry Pratchett, Jingo

catchymemes: