sif and valkyrie meet on a lesbian dating app on earth and for the whole date theyre both in disguise as midguardians not realizing that both of them are from asgard
What I love about this is they’d both be terrible at it but for completely opposite reasons.
Sif would try very hard but she is an earnest Old Worlde Asgardian to her bones and would be every alien/timetraveller-fails-to-fit-in cliche at once. “More of your Earth food, please, fellow human” and so forth.
Valkyrie has spent a few thousand years in a cutthroat multicultural urban environment and could probably adapt and pass as human if she actually tried, but instead she’d do the most token effort imaginable. It’s not like any of these Midguardians would recognise alien tech, and changing clothes is effort, etc.
And both of them would be very pleased at how much easier this all was than they were expecting. “I’m doing great!” they would both think, comparing notes on their favourite kind of spaceship (midguardians have spaceships, right?) and having an arm wrestling context where they use 1/10th of their strength, eg enough to break the arm of any actual human.
And then eventually Sif would be overcome with guilt and tearfully explain her Terrible Lie and Valkyrie would go YOU MEAN I PUT ALL THIS EFFORT IN FOR NOTHING and then Sif would die of fangirling because Valkyrie.
And then they’d make out, the end.
um um um SOMEONE WRITE THIS STORY OH MY GOD amazing
he didn’t want to think about this, didn’t want to feel this, so he thought about the foxes instead. he clung tight to the memory of their unhesitating friendship and their smiles. he pretended the h e a r t b e a t pounding a sick pace in his temples was an exy ball ricocheting off the court walls. he thought of wymack holding him up in december and andrew pushing him down against the bedroom floor. the memories made him weak with grief and loss, but they made him s t r o n g e r, too.
he’d come to the foxhole court every inch a lie, but his friends made him into someone real.
Anthony Hopkins in Thor wasn’t phoning it in I’ve seen him phone it in this was just him turning the ham up cause they told him he could be god and get paid a million dollars for it
Taika Waititi had to tell him he was too over the top could you imagine how hard he must have been going